A few years ago, my mom found a lump.
Nothing dramatic. Just… off. That quiet tug in your gut that says, something’s not right.
She did what we’re all told to do. She went to the doctor.
They told her not to worry.
“You’re healthy.”
“Probably hormonal.”
“Women your age get these all the time.”
She almost accepted that. Almost let it go.
But something in her said no. She pushed. She went back. She asked again. She demanded the test.
And thank God she did.
They caught it early. She’s okay. She’s here.
Even now, I can feel the breath I didn’t know I was holding when I say that.
She’s here.
But what if she hadn’t pushed?
What if they had been more dismissive—or she had been more trusting?
What if she didn’t have the time, the language, the access, the strength to insist on being taken seriously?
What if she had believed them when they said it was nothing?
That question keeps me up at night.
Because Valerie Buchanan did all the same things. And she still died.
Valerie was 32.
She felt the lump. She knew her body. She spoke up—again and again.
“You’re too young for breast cancer,” they told her.
So they sent her home.
By the time someone finally listened, it was too late. Stage four. Terminal.
In January 2024, Valerie died.
Not because there was no cure. But because no one believed her.
This Isn’t Just Her Story. Or My Mother’s. It’s Thousands of Us.
We like to believe the system works—that if you speak up, act fast, advocate for yourself, you’ll be okay.
But for women, especially young women, that just isn’t true.
Valerie Buchanan was 32 when she found a lump. She trusted her instincts. She went to the doctor.
“You’re too young for breast cancer,” they said.
They sent her home.
By the time someone listened, it was stage four. Terminal.
My mom also found a lump. Same instincts. Same push.
And at first? Same answer.
“You’re healthy. It’s probably nothing.”
But she didn’t let it go. She pushed. She got the test. And thank God—she caught it early. She’s okay.
That breath I hold every time I say that—she’s okay—is a reminder of how easily this could’ve gone the other way.
Valerie didn’t die because she was unlucky.
She died because she wasn’t believed.
And this isn’t rare—it’s routine.
- In 72% of cases, women wait longer than men for a diagnosis.
- Only 41% of clinical trial participants are women.
- From 1997–2000, 8 out of 10 drugs withdrawn from the U.S. market disproportionately harmed women.
Australia’s #EndGenderBias Survey showed:
- 66% of women experienced gender bias in care.
- Over 70% felt their concerns weren’t heard.
- More than 50% were treated differently because of their gender.
- 62% said care was unaffordable.
- 45% said it was inaccessible.
- And 35%+ felt unsafe in medical settings.
In the U.S., 1 in 5 women say they’ve been dismissed by doctors. Over half say gender discrimination in healthcare is a serious issue.
These aren’t just numbers. They’re women like my mom. Like Valerie.
Women who knew something was wrong.
Women who were told they were fine.
Women who had to fight to be believed—or didn’t get the chance.
This isn’t just a broken system. It’s a deadly one.
And It’s Getting Worse for Young Women
Breast cancer diagnoses in younger women are rising. It’s not as rare as doctors used to think—and yet, the myth persists.
“You’re too young.”
“Come back if it gets worse.”
“Don’t worry.”
It’s what they told Valerie. It’s what they told my mom. It’s what countless women are hearing right now, across every age, race, and income level.
And it’s killing them.
Because when we don’t listen to women the first time, there’s often no second chance.
So What Do We Do?
We name the problem.
We hold the system accountable.
We stop brushing off the lived experiences of half the population.
Here’s what needs to change:
- Train doctors to recognise and unlearn gender bias.
- Fund research that includes women from day one.
- Redesign medical protocols that treat men’s bodies as the default.
- Make care accessible and affordable to everyone, not just the privileged.
- Create consequences when women are dismissed or delayed.
Outrage is not enough.
We need policy. Pressure. Persistence.
Because women are dying—not from the diseases themselves, but from the delay, the disbelief, the dismissal.
Let This Be the Story That Stays With You
Valerie Buchanan should be alive.
So should so many others who didn’t get heard until it was too late.
My mom was one of the lucky ones.
But she shouldn’t have had to be lucky. She should’ve just been taken seriously.
If you feel angry, good. Hold on to that.
If you feel scared, you should. Let it move you.
Because next time, it could be someone you love. Or it could be you.
And when that happens, you shouldn’t have to fight to be believed.
You should be heard.
You should be helped.
You should live.